My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize