That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
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I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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