I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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