What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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