Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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