i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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