I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize