she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
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The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
tell me about the fingering
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