What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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