maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
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You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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