I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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