We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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