final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize