please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize