were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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