I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize