did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize