chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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