i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Found the puke drawer
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize