Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize