but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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