; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize