TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wear drunk well.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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