She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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