Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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