Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
This girl is more easily done than said...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Randomize
Follow @tfln