Texts From Last Night

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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This girl is more easily done than said...

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  (+27): This girl is more easily done than said... http://tfl.nu/38ha
  Replies (5) Good night (3173) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (1824) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan

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  (412): me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan http://tfl.nu/bxhp
  Replies (63) Good night (982) Bad night (2327) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.

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  (516): All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job. http://tfl.nu/ssdv
  Replies (8) Good night (636) Bad night (3458) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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  (530): He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/h0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (980) Bad night (15520) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.

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  (724): An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/gzqy
  Replies (24) Good night (5336) Bad night (2183) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.

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  (267): Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup. http://tfl.nu/dysq
  Replies (10) Good night (2983) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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  (214): You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp http://tfl.nu/t0a5
  Replies (9) Good night (1185) Bad night (2501) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3208) Bad night (679)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.

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  (801): I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl. http://tfl.nu/k0v0
  Replies (18) Good night (788) Bad night (4421) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people

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  (815): Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people http://tfl.nu/73fe
  Replies (8) Good night (1381) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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  (724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs
  Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.

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  (503): I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation. http://tfl.nu/ib5h
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.

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  (937): And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars. http://tfl.nu/ldzi
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (10) Good night (972) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt

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