We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
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i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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