he shaved USA in his pubs
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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