I think I am morally bankrupt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize