Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize