OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need a beard to bite.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize