Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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