i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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