I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize