not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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