i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize