I think my vagina is haunted
it was like his penis was on wheels.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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