billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
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Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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