Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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