His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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