I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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