i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize