Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize