He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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