guys are not supposed to queef...right?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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