I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize