Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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