woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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