I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize