Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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